i finished reading frank mccourt’s teacher man last week. mccourt is an inspiration to me because his future looked so bleak and hopeless when he was a young boy in ireland as he wittily narrates in his memoir angela’s ashes. but he triumphed over poverty and adversities in his hometown and went on to become a well-loved teacher and a celebrated pulitzer price winning author.
teacher man documents the rich and vast experience of mccourt as a high school english teacher in new york city. no small feat in a blackboard jungle of teenagers if i may say so. like his two other books angela’s ashes and ’tis, teacher man is a funny and yet a genius read not only for teachers like the author, but more importantly for students because it shows the human side of teachers.
one of my favorite parts in teacher man is when he tells the readers how he uses the lame excuse letters that his students wrote with forged signature of their parents to explain their absence or their failure to submit the homework, in order to teach imaginative writing and to squeeze the creative juices of his students. in particular, he asks them to write ‘an excuse note from adam to god’ or ‘an excuse note from eve to god’. their class discussion on writing excuse letters goes on to include other historical figures like eva braun, judas, attila the hun, lee harvey oswald and al capone.
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drawing inspiration from mccourt’s class, i will now attempt to write excuse letters for some celebrities.
excuse note from ninoy aquino to the filipino people [on kris aquino]:
i am very sorry for the preposterous behavior of my youngest child. i believe this stems from the fact that she was used to having all the attention of the entire family to herself. i am aware that she’s been saying a lot of imprudent things on air and has been involved in countless, often too personal to even divulge, dramas and controversies. but that, i guess, is the price you have to pay for the democracy which cory and i bravely fought for. at least, you can switch channels when my daughter starts blabbing about her private life.
excuse note from angelina jolie to jennifer aniston
i’m sorry for being the biggest bitch in the world and stealing brad from you. what was i supposed to do? deny the feelings? i’m sorry that you can’t give him a child while i’ve already given him 3 excluding our adopted kids. but i wish you peace and happiness that you deserve, and a man that would love you for who you are. now, if you can just move on with your life. ta!
excuse note from imelda marcos to the filipino people:
i am sorry if you are jealous of my shoe collection. you’ve always pointed it out as if it is a flaw when it’s one of those things that put the philippines in world map. who else has 3000 1,060+ shoes in their closet? ok, maybe carrie bradshaw of sex and the city fame but i probably inspired her anyway. i only wanted us to be called the shoe capital of the world but since you ruthlessly ousted us from office, i was not able to push through with this grand plan. nonetheless, thank you for giving us your wealth and paying for my shoe collection. you did know that, didn’t you?
