dear owen,

i’m sorry that i had to give my consent to kate and a-rod love affair. that winning bat of a-rod in game 4 of the world series against phillies did it for me. i asked him to show me he was worthy of kate and he did. i wasn’t impressed with him until then. i’m still an owen-kate shipper. don’t give up on kate. i still believe in the two of you. but for now, i need kate to push for a yankees win. please don’t try to kill yourself again.

***

dear simba,

you must be so sad to see your sidekick be taken away by people you hardly know. i felt for you, sincerely. i shed some tears in the privacy of my bedroom after i saw him leaving in the arms of his new owner. but we all knew it was coming. it was just a matter of time. the fact that he never had a real name, that we only referred to him as ‘puppy’ was an indication that he was never meant to stay in the house. don’t worry, i will play with you from time to time if you promise to smell un-dog-like all the time.

***

dear ron and hermione,

do you miss me? real life has taken over my parallel universe which would explain my prolonged absence in your world. i still think a lot about you. after all, i always find myself making references to your world. siriusly. i shall apparate back into your lives soon enough that you won’t miss me anymore. maybe next year, i’ll get to see you in orlando. save me some treacle tarts in the meantime.

***

dear friendster,

please stop reminding me that you exist. i know you still do, even if you unfortunately, has been reduced into a dust mote in the worldwide web. stop chasing me with your unsolicited emails. don’t you get it? i have found a new love with facebook. i’m so over you. auf wiedersehen, as heidi klum would say.

***

dear gabby,

you are a reminder to the simple truth that girls should not give up their virginity at age 14 to someone they think they are totally in love with and yet a complete stranger in more ways than one. you are the epitome of male chauvinist, selfish friend, irresponsible father and dimwit child as your mother so lovingly calls you. i only have two words left to say. fuck off.

i’m aboard flight AA3 from JFK to LAX en route to HNL. obviously, there’s infight internet via gogoinflight.com, woohoo! i signed up for the price of $10  for the entire trip, which is almost six hours. come to think of it though, i don’t think my mac battery would last that long. still, it’s a great way to kill the time, apart from my staple cosmo mag and the book (james patterson’s sundays at tiffany’s with me) i bought at the airport. the downside of the flight is that there’s no food like most of the airlines nowadays and because i was hungry, i was obliged to buy a sandwich and a bag of chips for $10 (gasp!). and i also had to pay for my baggage. first check in bag was $15 while the second was $25 (another gasp!)

*****

no one’s seated beside me. yay! i wish raj is here though. i would gladly give up this free seat for him. oh, and there’s a pillow and blanket for each seat too. some airlines (united, for one) have eliminated these amenities as part of their cost cutting measures. when i went to vancouver in october, i had to rush during boarding so i can secure a blanket and a pillow from the limited supply. i get easily cold so not having a blanket means uncomfortable flight for me.

*****

i dreamt that a monkey bit my hand and i was going to sue its owner. i don’t know what my dream meant exactly. i searched online (thanks gogo!). nothing specific has been said although in general, dreaming of a monkey is not a good omen. anyway, it bit me exactly where yan-yan, my pup, bit me when i was 13 years old.

*****

yan-yan was a cute little puppy. he was the offspring of shari (our dog) who was very beautiful in her prime years. raj wouldn’t believe me because he saw her when she was already old, frail and hairless. i don’t know who fathered yan-yan because during those years, the philippines did not have an animal-caring culture yet so shari had the freedom to leave our house whenever she wanted. anyhoo, back to yan-yan. he was apparently my favorite. i owned him. i cuddled him everyday and referred him with this saccharine tone as ‘yan-yan, my friend’. one day, he was not in the mood to play with me. he was hiding under our couch so  i forced him to get out of it. but then, he bit me. not that sharp, penetrating dog bite. it was more like a scratch. nonetheless, i had to endure a dozen rabies shots. yan-yan died after 3 days. i think he was already sick the day he bit me. RIP yan-yan. you will always be remembered.

*****

ooops… we are experiencing turbulence. these days, i get nervous when flying. it started when i went on a trip to vancouver by myself. for some reasons, i had a bit of a panic attack when we were taxing. and then when i went to japan, the flight was 14 hours and i was restless for the most part of the trip. maybe i’ve gotten used to flying with raj that i have anxiety attacks when he’s not with me.

*****

3 more weeks and raj will be back. i can’t wait. aaahhhhh!!!!

(1) i have too much clothes.

(2) i never wear the same clothes twice in a month.

(3) i do want to learn how to drive although i am terrified of it.

(4) i wish i have more time to read books and do whatever i want to do.

(5) i would love to have kids of my own now.

(6) i am jealous of my peers who already have kids.

(7) i love ‘my girl’ – not the movie but the pinoy version of the korean drama.

(8 ) i ship kimerald in real life. ha!

(9) i paid $40 to subsribe to PDA. yes, i love real life drama.

(10) i am still not over ron-hermione.

(11) i would love to see ‘the beach’ again after reading the book two months ago.

(12) i owe my friends a really long email.

(13) i miss our japan days and the friends i have made.

(14) i want to have a las vegas wedding (with raj, of course) just for the fun of it.

(15) i want to have a small puppy.

(16) summer is my least favorite season.

(17) i am craving for okinomiyaki right now.

(18 ) i regret not taking my japanese lessons seriously.

(19) i miss the storms and the announcement that classes is suspended.

(20) i may have post-trauma for being such a serious student back in the day. i often have these nightmares of not being able to study for a test or not being able to finish a homework.

(21) i want to be a professional dancer in my next life.

(22) i was a hullahoop master.

(23) i hate stupid questions from my agents.

(24) i’m finding it difficult being a boss.

(25) i love taking the subway.

(26) i am itching to play ‘hotshot’ – viva las vegas!

(27) i tend to worry a lot over small things.

(28 ) i miss singing my heart out in a karaoke bar.

(29) i named my blackberry ‘posh’ in honor of victoria beckham who i like.

(30) i cried when mr. big showed carrie the closet he built for her in SATC, the movie.

(31) i killed fred, the plant. yes.

(32) i want to go to london and see the harry potter set.

(33) i want to take lessons at FIT on how to sew.

(34) i want to be uma thurman and kill bill. heh!

(35) i am not a beach person. i am something else but i have yet to find out.

(36) i cried when chivas came out yesterday and performed on stage.

(37) i need retainers.

(38 ) the current book i am reading bores me.

(39) i miss writing film reviews for class.

(40) i have great respect for people who have read lord of the rings and understand its literature.

(41) i love dressing up although sometimes i feel pressured to look good everyday because they’ve already tagged me as the office’s fashionista.

(42) i love watching america’s next top model, even it reruns.

(43) i also love watching dancing with the stars and so you think you can dance.

(44) i didn’t like sushi when i was in japan.

(45) we used to take home food from the all you can eat restaurant in japan. we would bring ziplocks and bring home uncooked meat and loads of cheesecake.

(46) i can’t wait for tomorrow when i will be with raj again.

(47) i spent the weekend cleaning our room because of raj’s arrival. i never realized it was that big until i threw all of the mess that had piled up.

(48 ) i think that coming home to a well-kept bed is a refreshing feeling.

(49) i miss putty, my short-armed bear.

(50) tomorrow is when my life begins once more.

(49) i

i am sitting here in the balcony of our apartment, overlooking the park. it so damn hot and humid to be inside the apartment. apparently, there’s a heat wave until tomorrow. this is the one thing i don’t like about NY. summers can get excruciatingly hot. this is the time of the year when i wish i was in santa barbara enjoying the springlike weather even in the midst of summer. oh well, at least there’s some breeze now.

*****

i finished a book in a span of five days. this is a feat for me considering that i had never read this fast since i started working (except when i devoted my whole day for harry potter and the deathly hallows). work consumes most of my time and consequently, my energy that at the end of the day, i would rather watch the telly for no-brainer shows and sleep early. lately, i have also decided to get some more sleep in the subway than read. last week i opted to catch up on my reading. i rushed home everyday to read for a few hours and so i had finished water for elephants.

*****

i must have been a zoo keeper or an animal circus trainer in my past life because how else can i explain my strange love for the wildlife. animal tales always catch my interest. they always fascinate me. like how a dolphin save the two beach whales from being stranded. or how a tiger has shown faithfulness to a young kid in life of pi. of course, there are stories that scare the hell out of me too like how these wild cats would maul to death their keepers. i once had the opportunity to swim with the sharks. i was so into it because it would be fulfilling one of my to-do-list before i turn 30. however, i backed out the last minute as i wasn’t a strong swimmer and i feared that i might panic midway through and cause a disturbance to the man-made lake.

*****

i love, love ugly betty. i wasn’t expecting myself to be hooked on the show. after all, the original telenovela was shown in manila, dubbed in the vernacular, five years ago. it was just about before we left for japan and i didn’t care so much about the show. when the series started here in the US two years ago, i wasn’t into it as i thought it too be formulaic for my own taste. but for some reasons, i bought the DVD set of the first season and suddenly, i found myself a fan of the show. it’s formulaic yes. betty is always there to save the day and yet, something about the show still appeals to me. maybe because it’s too damn funny. maybe because the characters are so real i can see them everyday in my daily commute. whatever it is, now i can’t wait for the DVD of the second season to be released. the cameo role of posh spice makes it all the more interesting.

- that paper cuts are nature’s way of telling us to save the trees. i do get paper cut almost everyday and i feel that it’s only just since i use about two reams of coupon bond everyday for work. no exaggeration here. i do print a lot of stuff for work. in all fairness, i make sure that these paper gets thrown in our recycling bin when i no longer need them for my files.

- that philadelphia is a very lovely city. i had the privilege of going there last thursday for a business trip. our center is located in the heart of the city, in the midst of all the shops, restaurants and historical places. it’s a fusion of the old and the modern.

- that our apartment is freezing cold, especially for our old landlady downstairs. two weeks ago, i was venting on how she needed to turn off the heater. now, i want the heater back. or maybe, i just want the nice warm weather that was a couple of weeks ago.

- that i need a vacay. i have been so overworked and stressed out for the past weeks that i actually dread going to work. the thing is i am saving up all my vacay for when raj comes back here so i’m not going anywhere at least for the time being. i have an oral surgery next week though which would mean i have to work from home for a few days. i can’t wait. i never thought i’m gonna say this but i do look forward to that oral surgery.

- that fred the plant is dying. i think he needs some tender loving care and some sunshine. or maybe he needs a twin plant. i hope fred doesn’t die on me (yet again!) mrs. weasley will not be pleased. he!

- that jason catro’s version of somewhere over the rainbow is orgasmic. i swear when i first heard it on itunes, lewd thoughts swarmed in my head (not involving jason though). listen to it and be the judge.

- that DC should be named the next american idol. i’ve been voting like a madman for him ever since he sang always be my baby. i have been a fan since his first audition and there’s no turning back for me since then. i only started voting three weeks ago because he’s become so popular and i don’t want him to become another daughtry who placed a mere fourth when he was clearly the best in the pack. not that it really harmed daughtry in the end. still, i would love for DC to come out as the winner.

- that i need to blog more and be in tune with my inner self better.

it’s one of those saturdays again when the homebody in me won over the nomad one. actually, you can blame it on the weather. i would have wanted to go out and get some jelly bracelets (more on this later) but it was raining most of the day and this made me wanted to just crawl into my bed and slumber (to tell the truth however, i have been glued on my TV set watching the marathon of america’s next top model cycle 6). also, i didn’t want to spend any more money than i should seeing that i already did last night with my halloween costume.

so halloween is next week and working at a school is pretty great because that means big time celebration. we have a party scheduled on tuesday night and we will go to the halloween parade at the village on wednesday. these events motivated me and aki to search for the best halloween costume we can get for ourselves. i don’t want to wear the same costume for two consecutive days so i had to buy two. on tuesday night, i’ll be a belly dancer. it’s not slutty though because i got it from the teens section. my body size is not mature enough for those sexy adult halloween costumes (which is kinda sad). on wednesday, i’m going to be the 80’s glamour girl. i bought a punk wig and i figured i could use my own clothes as costume but what is the 80s without jelly bracelets so i will have to get some of those. i actually asked my sister if she can get me some today and i hope she was able to.

tomorrow is my oral surgery. my wisdom tooth will finally be extracted. people have been telling me about the after-effects which include bleeding and swelling. this is one of the reasons i chose to get a belly dancer costume. in case, my cheeks gets bloated because of the surgery, i can cover it with the veil. my only hope is that i will be well enough by tuesday night to get on and party…

brrrr… it’s freezing cold here in my apartment. fall is officially here. temperature has increasingly dropped since last thursday. here i am clad in my pjs and sweatshirt with a blanket wrapped around me. today’s actually a good time to have one of those hot teas but my addiction for orange has won over.

it’s super cold and yet i am not complaining. had the weather been the extreme opposite, i will surely agonize big time.

i love fall and winter. i love walking and feeling the autumn breeze sweep through my face. i love the fashion that the change of season brings. yes, yes, i am betraying my tropical blood. i spent more than twenty years of my life in the philippines and another year in the sunny city of santa barbara, and so i welcome fall and winter with open arms.

i was thinking last night about my new assistant who’s been with me for a week now. i was the one who personally hired and trained her. it’s too early to make judgments whether or not she is good and fits the system but i wish she would deliver. and, i wish that she would prove she-who-must-not-be-named wrong.

last night when i was working on the I20s, i wished that i could be at least as half as good as delphine, my ex-boss when it comes to dealing with team members. not only was she a good leader, she also played the role of my mentor. she brought out the best in me and encouraged me to develop more my abilities and skills. even now that she has left the company, i still look up to her and i don’t think anyone could surpass her as the coolest boss ever. so let me dedicate this entry to her.

for all that you were and that you have been to me delphine, merci!

my life is predictable in so many ways:

- like how every morning i would look for my lint remover when i know i’ve placed it somewhere i could easily find it;

- like how i anticipated that i would forget to take out my debit card from the ATM machine, and i did;

- i order the same food over and over again. green tea and plain croissant for breakfast. this morning, i tried ordering a regular cup of tea but the people from cafe europa already knew me so they gave me green tea instead. whenever i have chicken salad for lunch, i ask the same things to be added: corn, tomatoes, croutons, mozzarella and some dressing.  the thing that frustrates me is that i always say ‘ranch’ for a dressing and i keep getting ‘french’. and, for my sushi i always have spicy tuna roll. i try ordering others but i just end up cravng for spicy tuna.

- i always try to blog something significant, like maybe a book or a film review, or something profound maybe channel a bit of coelho in me, but i always end up writing something as mundane as this entry.

- on weekends, i tell myself that i would sleep long and wake up not until lunch time, but my sleeping habits would rouse me to no later than 8.30 am.

- i promise myself to do some exercise, get back to sit-ups and do some jogging but i disappoint myself.

- i am bound to lose my way because i have direction dyslexia. just last saturday, i got lost several times and i don’t think i got lost as much as i did that day. i found myself standing near the lincoln tunnel to new jersey and i didn’t know how i got there. i always find my way back though.

but all these things make up my so-called life and without them, i will not know how to appreciate the small and big surprises that come my way, those that distrub my life’s habitual patterns.

as linkin park would say, in the end it doesn’t really matter.

this time last year, i was overtly agog with the release of GoF in widescreen. i coaxed raj into queuing to get tickets for the midnight screening. and my love for hp r/hr didn’t end there as i saw the film thrice more after that.  yesterday, i practically dragged raj to ‘happy feet’ just to catch the short trailer of OotP. man, it was the fastest 54 seconds of my life. it’s too short and naturally, it has left me craving for more. i’m starting my countdown to july 13. can’t wait.

this time last year, i was about to have my interview as a paralegal at a law office in NY. back then, my future was all but a blur. there was no path to follow, no one dream to pursue. come what may was my everyday mantra. today, i am in santa barbara, brought here by a job that i have grown to love. i have no regrets turning down the job offer as a paralegal. had i accepted it, i wouldn’t probably get  the same three salary increases and the promotion that i am enjoying right now.  who knew that the leap of faith i took to come here in santa barbara was all that step i needed to get my career back on track.

this time last year, i was spending what little money i had for black friday. this year, i plan to indulge in shopping. shop til i drop — or maybe, shop til raj gets mad