this was the title of the play performed by our very own aspect students. i have never been prouder of working in aspect until after the show tonight. the script was simple but hilarious, witty and spot on. set in NY, the play is about what international students go through when they come here for the first time to learn english.

what surprised me the most was seeing the students come out of their shell and act like being on the play was the most natural thing to do. they were all great that one would think they must have some theater background. i know how small the amount of time it took to get this project done. the auditions were held only two weeks ago. the posters were put up a week ago but all came out prepared tonight and gave a show worthy of standing ovation at the end.

it was a shame i didn’t have my glasses with me. i never saw the faces of the actors, only blurred figures from where i was seated. i was also disappointed that there was no japanese student in the play. and, had i known it was going to be this good, i would have taken some pictures to savor the night that was.

it made me proud to see those students on stage. those are people whom i have booked; whose names are quite familiar because i have exchanged correspondence with their agents; whose dreams i have helped come true in one way or another. this is the best thing about this job. more than the money i get, more than the sales i make, it’s always that feeling of being able to open doors for international students which motivates me to keep on pushing myself to work.

being an international student once myself, i can empathize with these ESL students. it may not be english which i had to study (i learned structured english and filipino at the same time) but the experience is the same nonetheless. maybe even harder for me as it was japanese which i was learning – grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation and on top of these, the characters. i know how confusing the nuances of the language are; how it feels to get lost in translation; how  context and culture affect the communication process; how learning is an act of survival in itself. and yet, these hardships make all ones achievements more meaningful in the end.

anyway, it’s late and my bed awaits me. to stephanie who is the writer-director of the play and to all the cast (even though i know you won’t get to read this blog), kudos to a job well done!

rummaging through my old files (yet again!), i found this: chronicles of a muse lost and found.

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october 13, 2004

9:50 p.m

beppu, japan

my muse came to me at an unusual time. i was sitting in my japanese 4 class when i felt the sudden urge to write. i was trying to figure out what my sensei was saying when i sensed the need to write my thoughts down or at least compose my thoughts in my head, otherwise I would burst out of frustration. our lecture was about EU and APEC but i couldn't understand most of the lecture. everything i knew about the topic was based on the little stock knowledge i possess.

japanese wasn't that bad before. although i abhorred the tons of work which the prior courses required us to do, deep down i looked forward to attending the classes everyday. i had great affection for my 'cross national boundaries' book. there was an ample amount of satisfaction in me whenever i can read a page of kanji, more so be able to comprehend what the text actually says. but japanese 4 is a different story.

it may not be as demanding as the previous japanese courses but it is certainly more difficult and more complex. now we are asked to sit in an actual japanese lectures in sociology conducted by Japanese professors. the professors expect us to transform into immortal beings capable of understanding what they are talking about and how they talk at a speed of 100 words per minute. okay, i am exaggerating here but then again, i really have low tolerance level for japanese native speakers.

i sat in class half-listening, half-daydreaming. the next day in my japanese class, we watched the video of the lecture once more through the aid of personal computers, while answering the task sheet my sensei prepared. i didn't know what to write because i actually couldn't make anything out of what the professor was saying. there was a rewind button in computer but it didn't help at all. what i needed was a slow motion command to make the professor talk at my own pace. i sat in front of the computer, watching and cursing under my breath all the time.

when my sensei explained the answers to the questions, that was when my muse visited me. she may have felt my need to be transported away from the rigors of nihongo class; to be back to my previous world where only the roman alphabet exists and only mr. webster has control of my vocabulary. my japanese class and my life outside it are like two parallel lines which do not meet at any given point, so said my muse that time.

my muse was missing for the last two years. i wasn't able to write as much as i did back in the philippines. i must have left it at home while i was packing things. i remember i had to let go some of them because i cannot carry excess baggage. i had to talk to them (yes, literally) and tell them why i couldn't bring them to Japan. my muse could have been in one of those objects i left behind. strange thought but well, maybe she was that old worn-out shirt i had since high school or that pair of black shoes i threw away. or she could have disguised into one of my many angels still at home.

my passion for writing came back soon after my recent trip to the philippines. it was as if i went home and inadvertently found my muse locked somewhere there, waiting for my arrival. and through an inexplicable force of nature, it was able to travel with me here in japan. maybe in the form of my favorite head and shoulder shampoo or the local version of cosmo magazine which i brought with me. maybe she was wrapped inside the warm memories i shared with my college friends in my one-month stay in the philippines. but whatever transpired between then and now, what is important is that my muse came back when i would rather write than be in my japanese class. 

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post script: notice how i kept starting my sentences with conjuctions — yep, that's me defying grammar.

is the feast of st. jude thaddeus

'most holy apostle, st. jude thaddeus. the name of the traitor who delivered thy beloved master into the hands of his enemies. has caused thee to be forgotten by many but the church honors and invokes thee as the patron of hopeless cases…'

and if you're wondering why i care so much, my high school alma mater is st. jude academy. it's not the same as saint jude catholic school in malate. mine is a small private school located somewhere in valenzuela. it's virtually an unknown school except for people living within the camanava (caloocan-malabon-navotas-valenzuela) area. and, its only claim to fame is being the sister school of la consolacion college and colegio de san agustin (they are all run by the augustinian sisters of the philippines).

anyway,

back in the old days, this was the time of the year when we set the school grounds for various activities culminating with our annual field demonstration. but while we looked forward to having some days off from regular school work, the field demos were actually forgettable and embarrassing moments from our youth.

eligible to graduate — that is my new status.the announcement came in this afternoon, hawaii time (morning in japan). my cumulative GPA is 3.55. ok, i suppose. i wish it’s a .6 though and not a .55. my GPA for my last sem in school is 3.8. i got an A+ on my thesis and on remote sensing class. i deserved that cus i got the highest in the midterm exam, i attended almost every class and my paper was well researched. i got an A on comparative analysis of east and west societies. i was hoping for an A+ as well so i could experience having a flat 4 for GPA but oh well, guess it’s not meant to be…

i just had my final exam on comparative analysis of western and asia pacific societies. the exam was easy although it was a bit tiring having to answer all eight questions in essay. one down, one more to go next week and i’m done here with apu. my three years finally coming to an end. the end of an era for gladyz, as my thesis adviser has put it.i am glad to have come here in apu. despite the constant apu and beppu bashing, going here’s worth it if only for the plethora of connections i have made. i may never be again in a multicultural environment as apu (unless some divine force brings me to UN…dream on!) i may not have been as tolerant of others as i am now if not for apu. and for that, i am truly thankful.

my life in apu is still incomparable to that of my stay in up like a secosana bag to a genuine louie vitton. and yet it is still worth telling in the years to come – a strand of hair in my own pensieve* of memories.

*term adopted from Harry Potter

went to school today.wasted 1 hour and 30 minutes of my time listening to a lecture about microwave radiation. everyone in the class was clueless on what ‘Colonel Sanders’ (my professor being his lookalike) was saying.

during the break, i asked my friend yuki who was in the same class if Colonel Sanders already announced the date of our midterm exam. yes he did, she said.

Friday next week. along with our 5-page report on remote sensing. wtf?!

and here’s more,

the midterm exam of my other class is scheduled Monday next week. i wouldn’t know about it if i hadn’t asked yuki who is also taking it.

now my weekend is loaded with studying.

anyhoo, on a brighter note

i am almost done with my thesis. i only need to write down the conclusion and polish everything. the thesis is due for submission at the academic office on monday.i asked eades last week if they are actually stacking up the students’ theses in the library. he said much as he wants to, most of the submitted works are not written very well. worse, many non-native english students are guilty of plagiarizing (and non-native english teachers couldn’t tell the difference at all). so i asked him what happens to those theses submitted by the students. the policy, he said, is to keep the theses somewhere in the academic office for a period of three years, after which they are thrown away. but many of the theses have actually been shredded into pieces already. sad ‘no? after all the efforts that you put in writing you undergrad thesis, sa basurahan lang ang bagsak (paging bong…)

my thesis topic actually makes me sad too. it’s about the international aviation industry, with emphasis on the Philippines. I’ve learned a lot from my research materials and I really feel sorry for PAL. sayang talaga…

oh well, gusto ko na talagang matapos ang thesis ko so i could have more time to write in my blog

wow! i just came from the most boring class i’ve ever had in my entire student life. the class is about remote sensing and geopgraphic information system. really, who cares about those stuff? the course is completely pointless and not worth my time and effort but no, i cannot cancel it because it’s the only class that would give me the extra 2 credits i need to graduate this september. worse, the teacher is from thai and i couldn’t understand most of what he’s saying in class. i can hear clearly though how he says tyfe for type.my other class was supposed to be on the sociology of outsourcing in asia but the requirements were too heavy that raj and i canceled it and opted for comparative analysis of western and asia pacific societies instead. the course seems interesting and i hope to learn something from it.

i still have to finish my thesis, and get into another level in our LOTR game in between. hehehe. i miss my gilmore girls routine.

have a fun weekend to anyone who visits my site.

it’s been ten years now since i last donned my high school uniform. the starched and pressed white long-sleeved blouse with round collars and the V-shaped jumper style navy blue pleated skirt created a homogenous female population in our school and the only things that separated one from the other were the hair styles and shoes. i didn’t know that a pair of black shoes can make all the difference until my seatmate told me that i had the cutest pair of shoes in our class (nope, he’s not gay).it’s been ten years now since i last sang our school hymn. although i couldn’t recall now all the lyrics, i know that only few gifted students can hit the high notes of the last lines “St. Jude Academy/Live on/Move on/Fly High…” only the best singers in our high school were actually invited to lead the song every morning on flag ceremony and on special occasions. i was picked to sing it once with a group of classmates, much to my consternation but i figured i could lipsynch anyway, so i joined them. singing was really never my cup of tea and i hated singing in front of a crowd in high school. when i was freshman, i chose to get a failing mark in music rather than to sing in class. in my senior year, i chose not to join the class chorale group and to watch them perform marverlously at the sidelines. my friend was telling me i could just open my lips and pretend to sing but i didn’t have the nerve yet to admit that i really love to sing.

it’s been ten years now since i last recited the novena to st. jude thaddeus, patron of hopeless cases. not that i was desperate for something or someone in high school, but since my alma mater is named after him, we had to pray the novena every thursday morning. actually, i did establish a devotion to st. jude during those times because apparently, he heard most of my petitions.

it’s been ten years now since i led the whole of fourth year students and the group of COCCs in flag retreat, both a privilege and responsibility i got from being the ACP corp commander (we are under the aerospace cadets of the philippines and not the usual cadet army training in most high schools). if i am to name my biggest achievement in high school, i’d have to say holding the highest post in ACP. i must stress that i came from a coed school and so being chosen as the corp commander was no easy feat for me. i had to battle with dozens of guys (and girls) who also dreamt of achieving the highest rank. out there in the field, i wasn’t the petite, thin, shy, feminine, reserved girl that i am. i was the authority – powerful and invincible. i mastered the art of saying Mga Pinunong Panlipaw, Alamin ang Nilalaman ng Inyong mga Lipaw in a big, commanding voice during flag retreat and the art of walking left, right, left, right stomach in, chest out with elegance and style.

it’s been ten years now since i last saw most of my classmates and batchmates. some years ago, a high school pal told me that we should organize a reunion on our tenth anniversary from graduating in high school. back then, it seemed such a far away reality to me but now, it’s happening. a decade has passed since we left the conformity and homogeniety that confronted us in high school; since we moved on to a bigger and more challenging environment; since we crossed the threshold to a new chapter of our lives.

unfortunately, there won’t be a high school reunion to commemorate those 10 long years. there won’t be that single day when all of us will gather once again in a room to share our fondest memories of high school.

ten long years… i don’t remember everything that transpired in my high school life now but whatever remains, i hope to cherish for the rest of my life.

almost a week since i last created an entry but u cannot accuse me of being lazy again. nope sir, not this time. in fact, i’ve been in the library twice since my last entry here. and if you visit me in my other blog, you’d see my posts there (due to raj’s insistent demand that i write something about his goatee).well, i am making progress in my thesis. yay to that! howard hughes and his contribution to the deregulation of the US airline industry finally turned up in my research materials. he actually made some negotiations with philippine airlines. anyhoo, i already know what to write from the introduction to the theoretical framework so that should get me going.

i also bought a book on japanese grammar and verbs. my japanese ability, which remains that of a beginner level, is slowly degrading because i don’t use any japanese these days — not a single word. and i dunno if i should feel grateful or not. the truth is, i really want to be fluent in Japanese, both in oral and written communication. i am hoping that the book i bought will serve its purpose.

i am being productive… i should be named the american idol.