confessions of a selfaholic











{November 15, 2009}   the lord of the rings

i am re-reading the lord of the rings and still agog about it.

below is the film review i wrote more than 5 years ago, after the return of the king, the final movie was shown.

we were already in japan at that time. raj and i watched it at cinema bluebird, a quaint theatre in the small town where we lived. fortunately, the movie was not dubbed in japanese. there were only a handful of people who watched it with us. the movie was almost 4 hours long but it was so good that we decided to stay and watch it again so in effect, we were inside the theatre for almost 8 hours. it was so hard core but this is one of those crazy things i did for love.

 

***

After one year and two months of patiently waiting, it is done.

I have seen the final installment of one of my all-time favorite books – Lord of the Rings.

I cannot put into words the magnitude and depth of my emotions upon watching Return of the King on big screen. But I know that I need to write something about it, if only to preserve my immense delight of being born in a generation when the magical legend of the Middle Earth was artistically translated into a classic film. A film truly worthy of joining the illustrious list of Academy winners.

I started reading Tolkien few months before The Fellowship of the Ring was released in theatres. In one of my occasional visits to a local bookstore, I was drawn to the power of Elijah Wood’s big blue eyes on the cover of the book. Reading the first few chapters was a drag; getting to know the main characters and the key places in the story was difficult for me whose loyalty belonged to Harry Potter and his world. But I kept on turning the pages with curiosity and persistence until I willingly submitted myself to become an invisible member of the fellowship. I went on to read The Two Towers and The Return of King, leaving me an ample amount of satisfaction.

As an intangible element in the book, I was able to be in several places at one time. I was with Gandalf when he battled Balrog to the end. I cried at Boromir’s tragic yet selfless death, an act to redeem himself from lusting after the ring. I silently supported Merry and Pippin when they were encouraging the Ents to engage in the war. I battled with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli at the Helm’s Deep and in Minas Tirith. Most importantly, I cheered Frodo and Sam in the darkest hours of their journey to Mordor.

My most favorite book is ROTK. It was where courage and pureness of heart in the midst of impending defeat from Sauron and his cohorts were vividly illustrated. Similarly, I found its film counterpart the most poignant of all. The heartrending scene where Pippin hummed his sad, little song juxtaposed with slow motion shots of Faramir and his men valiantly fighting the enemies made me cry as I was a wife or a daughter of one of those men.

Although I already knew exactly how the story was going to end based on Tolkien’s account, I still feared for the lives of countless brave men who were at war against the raging force of Sauron’s army; for the perils that Frodo and Sam encountered; and, for the imminent rise of the one ring to rule them all. I loathed Gollum and all his devious antics to regain the ring. I feared blinking my eyes while watching the film and missing the slightest turn of events.

ROTK was evidently Aragorn’s shining moment as aptly insinuated in the title. This time, Legolas did not steal the limelight from Aragorn as he cunningly did in FOTR when he appeared for the first time in Rivendell as the drop-dead gorgeous elf in the fellowship; or in TTT when he effortlessly slaughtered the armies of orcs with his bow and seemingly unlimited supply of arrows. In ROTK, Aragorn proved his innate wits and dexterity as heir to the throne of Gondor. He showed bravery when he faced the spirits of those rebels lurking in the mountains. He demonstrated passion and strength of a true leader when he gathered his men against the guardian Orcs of Mordor. He was a picture of a humble servant when he was crowned the king. Or paraphrasing the words of Elrond, he has indeed become what he was born to be.

The box-office success of ROTK, as well as of the two other films, did not even bank on the common theme of romantic love. There was, of course, the Arwen-Aragorn-Eowyn love triangle but even without this romantic angle, the films were a guaranteed hit simply because it offers us a glimpse of a realm not very different from ours. I would not even speak about the parallelisms of good and evil between the Middle Earth and our present society for so much has been written about it. Suffice to say, ROTK has subconsciously imparted many valuable lessons in life.

It is a tale of friendship and loyalty; patience and endurance; courage and hope; humility and service. Above all, it is about faith even in the most hopeless situation; faith even in the smallest people. Frodo’s journey to Mordor is much like the personal voyage taken by ordinary individuals. It takes faith in the inherent pureness of our hearts to surpass all trials and withstand all temptations in accomplishing our tasks. It is indubitably faith that allows the triumph of good over evil in the end. And when almost all else fails, it is faith that makes our heart stronger and pushes us to continue beyond the core of our limits.

 

 



{June 10, 2009}   kafka on the shore

abashedly confused. this is how i feel after finishing h. murakami’s kafka on the shore. the story seems simple in the beginning. kafka, a 15 year old runaway tries to be the toughest teen in the world while searching for a home away from home. on the other hand, nakata who has the strange ability of talking to cats is hired to find a missing cat and in the process murders a man (AND SPOILER ALERT!) who happens to be kafka’s father. so what’s so complicated about this? everything in between. weird things that happens in the story and those metaphors that abound and i don’t even know where to begin with – kafka waking up with a blood on his shirt, the mysterious passing out of school children that wiped out nakano’s memories, the appearance of johnny walker and colonel sanders, the oedipal propechy that is the salient theme, the ghost of a 15-year old ms. saeki appearing at night, the entrance stone, the forest. just remembering all these images in the book make my head spin in absolute chaos.

but this is not to say i didn’t like the book. oddly enough, i enjoyed reading the book, in a masochistic way of liking it. it’s a pain because there are so many things i wish i understand but i don’t and yet it pleases me at the same time because it’s so imaginative in style and i’m not even sure if there is indeed only one way of looking at it. this is to say, it is not open to any other interpretation but the author’s. gah! i wish i was back in school taking up a course on japanese literature with focus on murakami’s works. perhaps then i would gain better and in-depth understanding of his writing.

my favorite part in the book was when kafka walks into the small quiet town in the heart of a forest near the end of the story. it is so surreal in every way imaginable. is kafka in limbo? in a parallel universe? or in dharma initiative? (lost fans anyone?) the possibilities are limitless to the analytical mind. i read somewhere that the key to understanding murakami’s works is to read the book again. but right now, i’d rather be in a state of confusion than be lost in such metaphysical world. in truth, i’d rather listen to kafka on the shore if this recording truly exists. i’m pretty sure it’d be as haunting as the song somewhere in time.

personally, reading kafka on the shore is like watching a lyrical dancer on stage. i don’t really get the overall meaning of the dance but i feel the emotions associated to it and with this, i conjure my own images. for me, i think this is enough because understanding its totality may take away the true beauty that lies beneath. and i’d rather preserve it this way, thank you very much.



{June 1, 2009}   eleven minutes

‘… It’s really only forty-five minutes, and if you allow time for taking off clothes, making some phony gesture of affection, having a bit of banal conversation and getting dressed again, the amount of time spent actually having sex is about eleven minutes.

Eleven minutes. The world revolved around something that only took eleven minutes.’

-Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes


you know what would totally be a close to orgasmic experience is if i can finish this book in eleven minutes. unfortunately, i’m way off the mark. i have started reading this book over a month ago but i haven’t even made it halfway through. currently, i’m also reading h. murakami’s kafka on the shore and i’m so intrigued by its plot and characters that i can’t even spend eleven minutes of my time on coelho’s book.

truth be told, i am not a fan of coelho. of his five books which i own, i have only finished reading 2 so far. a few close friends of mine were raving about the alchemist when i decided to check for myself what the fuss was about. after reading the novel, i thought that it was comparable to antoine de saint-exupery’s the little prince as both books’ main characters were involved in a journey of self-discovery. but the little prince touched me far more than the alchemist in more ways than one. the zahir was the second coelho book that i finished. i couldn’t resist its pink front cover and although it was a drag, i managed to get to the last page which was a feat considering that lula, my friend who is a self-confessed coelho fan only read a few chapters of it before she returned my book and admitting that she didn’t like it. i have  begun veronika decides to die and by the river piedra, i sat down and cry but i thought they were too dogmatic for my own liking so i put the books down and looked for other reading materials. i think this is why i am not too fond of coelho. i view his books as tediously didactic in style such that the profundity of his works gives me claustrophobia of some sort. it feels like listening to a self-righteous religious person giving unsolicited advice, or hearing santino talk in may bukas pa. heaven forbid! this is also how i felt with mitch albom’s tuesdays with morrie so i’m not into it as much as i know other people are. of course, people who love coelho (and albom) can argue otherwise. i prefer the style of robert fulghum. he talks about life values and lessons even in the most trivial of experiences but it’s something that we inculcate because they are practicable on a daily basis.

the first few chapters of eleven minutes hooked me until the main character starts seeing an image akin to virgin mary. that’s when i got turned off. still though, i would like to finish eleven minutes if only to see if there is enough love in the book to make the eleven minute-ritual last more than the average. and if i can gather enough love for coelho even for a short span of time.



{April 26, 2009}   the reader

BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

i am proud to say that i am above the status quo. woot, woot. 19 out of 100. it’s still disappointing for someone who calls herself a book whore. but i don’t know this list’s criteria because some of the books are oddly chosen, in my honest opinion, like lovely bones (or am i the only person who hates the book?) and bridget jones’s diary (isn’t it a chick lit?). kazuo ishiguro over haruki murukami. i haven’t read the remains of the day, yes but murukami’s norwegian wood deserve a spot there. and no paulo coelho’s? i would have also included angela’s ashes and extremely cloud and incredibly close. but whatever, it’s not my list. this is just a proof that i still have much to read, so help me god.

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 The Complete Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot reading
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky – sinusubukan pa rin…
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck – i will read this.
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia Series – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres Mais
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession – AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert – want to.
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo



{February 24, 2009}  

MolokaiImagine yourself afflicted with a strange disease, quarantined in a faraway and unfamiliar land, forced to leave your family and friends behind, with an obscure future ahead of you. Sounds downright scary, yeah? Luckily, this is not about H1N1 or any of the recent illnesses that have plagued the world, but rather the premise of the book Moloka’i by Alan Brennert.

Moloka’i chronicles the life of Rachel Kalauma who is taken to Moloka’i from her home in Oahu to Kalaupapa in Molokai, both islands in Hawaii, at a young age due to leprosy (now scientifically referred to as Hansen’s disease). It takes us to Rachel’s journey from a little kid who is painfully unaware of the circumstances that bring her into forced isolation, to an old lady who tries to live a normal life after being finally diagnosed as leprosy-free. It allows us to empathize with her joys after every pain; triumphs against adversity; and, courage in the midst of hopelessness.

The book is a cross between fiction and non-fiction. Rachel is obviously the work of the author’s imagination and yet she is an amalgamation of people who actually lived in the island. Moloka’i was, in fact the detention site of confirmed lepers from 1865 until the late 1960s. At that time, leprosy was considered incurable and highly contagious and thus, the victims were involuntarily deported to Moloka’i. The book mentions a number of real life characters who lived in the leper colony including the famous Father Damien, who will be canonized on October 11th into sainthood because of his charitable works and selfless acts to the community. In addition, the book also intersperses historical events such as World War II, the mass consumption of electricity, the development of moving pictures and the 1946 tsunami in the island among many others, which prove that the island is still part of a much bigger world even in its isolation.

The book tells us not only about the impact of leprosy in the olden times, but moore importantly, the message it brings to the readers - that all people, even Rachel who is a leper, deserve a second chance – is as beautiful as Moloka’i itself. And just as Rachel rises above all the challenges that fate took upon her, so did the island of Moloka’i.

From being a safe haven for the lepers and therefore virtually avoided by visitors, today Molokai has become an ideal destination for tourists in search for the authentic island life experience. It is where one can truly commune with nature whether it is through hiking to Halawa Valley to Mooula Falls, or basking in the sun at the white-sand beaches, or exploring the 300-acre rainforests in Kamakou Preserve. In addition to this, Molokai also prides itself as the ‘most Hawaiian of the islands.’ Because of its seclusion from the itinerants in the past, Molokai was able to preserve its indigenous cultural heritage. The place tells us a history that is not easily recognizable in the more popular tourist attractions in the state. It gives us glimpses of a time when Hawaii was free from the adverse effects of mass tourism and commoditization of culture. And more importantly, it shows us the true aloha spirit that is simply its people’s way of life. 

(edited and longer version of the original post)



(picture from amazon.com)

i bought james patterson’s sundays at tiffany’s at JFK so i would have something to read in the plane. there was a very limited book selection over at JFK, only this and the bastard of istanbul caught my interest. i craved for light and romantic read though, ergo i picked the former. to my utter disappointment in the end.

truth be told, i am not a james patterson’s fan. this was the first time i ever touched one of his writings. but the book cover is so pretty – it reminded me of winter sonata (the korean drama which i never got to finish). and the premise is promising: falling in love with an imaginary friend from childhood.

the story is simple. jane befriends the imaginary michael who leaves when she turned nine years old. jane grows up as a successful career woman but not in love. after 23 years, michael shows up again and the two eventually fall in love and live happily ever after.

this book reminded me of the film city of angels, so much so that i expected a surprising twist in the end – jane’s death (never mind if it would make the book no more than a mere copycat of the aforementioned movie), jane suffering from hallucination or split personality – anything that would allow me a suspension of disbelief. but there was none. who and what michael is is not clearly explained in the book. he’s not an angel nor a ghost. he is as characterized in the book an imaginary being along with many others, whose mission is to help  lonely kids one at a time. but michael inadvertently falls in love with jane and in the process becomes a human.

obviously, this is a fairy tale for adults and much as i want to believe in the magic of love, it’s just not plausible unless james patterson comes up with a logical explanation. i am not being cynical here. after all, city of angels touched my heart and i was hoping until the very last page that the book would have the same effect on me.  sadly, it did not.



{December 8, 2008}   the historian

i finished reading elizabeth kostova’s the historian last week. the book traces the legend of dracula, spanning 5 centuries beginning from the historical facts on vlad the impaler, the cruel rulerof wallachia, and narrated in 3 distinct storylines.

i had the book for the longest time but i was not really into vampires and i was unfamiliar with eastern european geography so it took a while before i decided to read it. and i was so glad i did.

the first few pages of the book were enough to spark my interest and curiosity. it is rich in historical details previously unbeknown to me, and in vivid images which allow the readers to be transported in a faraway place and time.

the historian is reminscent of the da vince code. both books explore a myth and connect it to significant events in history. although i like the da vince code better simply because it debunks many of the theological beliefs i have known all my life, the historian also now joins the list of my favorite reads. in light of the recent resurgence of vampire stories brought about by twiglight (which i have no intentions of reading, sorry to all the fans), i would strongly recommend the historian. it’s a page-turner, i assure you.



{February 2, 2008}   doctors

i just finished re-reading doctors by erich segal for the 5th time. i’m lazy to give a summary of the book but you can always go to amazon.com and look it up.

i highly recommend this classic piece to:

(1) everyone who dreamt or who dreams of becoming a doctor;

(2) anyone who likes grey’s anatomy. one of the major characters in the book, bennett landsmann reminds me of dr. preston burke of the tv series. both are afro-americans, surgeons and went through a similar operation in order to save their career;

(3) anyone who believes that friendship is the best foundation of a lifetime relationship. i may be giving away the plot here but whatever. this is my blog and i am entitled to it. laura and barney, whose relationship is the heart of the book, reminds me of ron and hermione. interestingly enough, they named their only child ‘harry’. talk about coincidence; and,

(4) anyone who wishes a good read. i guarantee you won’t be disappointed. erich segal is a genius and for that you should also read his other works including love story, the class, acts of faith and prizes.





{April 20, 2007}   high on high fidelity

one of the reasons i love taking the subway is because i get to read a book on that 20-30 minute ride to and from work. this morning, i finally finished ‘high fidelity’. with all that’s been happening to me lately, my daily commute is the only time i have the chance to read so it took me a while to finish this book.

to borrow the line of the main character rob, i have no opinions, only lists. therefore, here is a list of to whom i highly recommend high fidelity:

1. the audiophiles – whose life’s episodes are described best by songs and believe in the words of the author nick hornby that ‘ [sentimental] music has this great way of taking you back somewhere at the same time that it takes you forward, so you feel nostalgic and hopeful all at the same time’;

2. people who are going through existential crisis like rob;

3. men whose hearts were broken once and yet strive to be a better person for when their next relationship starts;

4. women who want a glimpse of the male psyche;

5. people who think that the movie is good. remember: don’t judge a book by its movie;

6. men who are in the age range of between early 20s – late 30s. this could easily be your memoir;

7. people who grew up in the cassette era and who remembers what it feels like listening to a compilation tape;

8. cynics and romantics alike;

9. anyone who’s looking for a good read;

and,

10. anyone who trusts my judgment;

enjoy!

my next commute book: the nanny diaries

my bed book: the rule of four

the difference: the former should always be from our paperback collection.



et cetera