santa barbara wildfires. yet again.

santa barbara is a place that holds many wonderful memories in my heart so the news alarms me as much as a local resident. and even more, it inspired me to write, finally, about our home in santa barbara

we first arrived in santa barbara in mid-january of 2007. the sunny weather that welcomed us was a relief from the winter wonderland that was NY where we came from. my first impression was it was very much like hawaii – the sunshine, the cool breeze, the mountains, the seas, even the smell of the cab’s freshener reminded me of my mom’s car back in hawaii

although we were billeted at extended stay hotel for a month which my company paid for, raj went right straight to the business of apartment hunting. he browsed all the ads; made the calls and the appointmens, and the initial visits. we knew early on that the quest for the perfect apartment might prove difficult because of budget constraints. we were told that the average one bedroom apartment in santa barbara cost about 1200-1500 USD. and for a starting couple like us, that seemed a bit too much. i was therefore ready to settle for less

on our second weekend in santa barbara, raj took me to the apartments that passed the initial screening. the very first apartment i saw, it was love at first sight. right from when i first stepped into the gate of the complex. i was welcomed by the landscaped small and yet beautiful garden placed aesthetically in the middle of all the apartment units. there were a few benches surrounding the garden (one of which was directly across our unit which made it perfect for reading). there was a small patio by the back gate with cozy poolside lounge chairs where residents can sun bathe, or simply relax and unwind whenever they wanted. it felt like stepping into the set of melrose place, only it was very real for us

the vacany was in unit no. 8. it being my favorite number, i took it as a divine omen. the inside of the apartment made me fall in love with it even more. it was a one-bedroom apartment . both the living room and the bedroom were spacious enough. the bedroom had two large windows overlooking the mountains. the kitchen was fully furnished with a small counter. even the most trivial of detail such as the food grinder in the sink sold the place to me. adjacent to the kitchen was the dining area which could hold up to four people. the bathroom although full was constricted to my liking. but still, this did not deter me from declaring outright that it was the perfect place for raj and me. the price, which was 1115 USD, fit exactly into our budget. we were also only required to pay the security deposit which was half of the monthly rent, unlike most apartments which asked for a deposit equivalent to the monthly rent or even more, as well for the last month payment. on top of it all, the bus stop was just across the street, so the commute was convenient.

raj said that i shouldn’t make the choice based on that apartment alone; i should still see the rest that he marked on. and thus continued the quest for our apartment shopping, even though i was fairly certain that nothing could top the first one we saw. the second apartment we looked at was only a few blocks away from the first one. it was also a one bedroom apartment. the floor area was pretty decent too. but the major turn off was it was across the cemetery, and i mean directly across that when i looked outside the window of the living room (or was it the bedroom), i saw the grave yard. yaiiks! i did not fancy a night of the living dead happening right before my eyes so rejecting this apartment was pretty easy

the third apartment we saw was also a few blocks away. the apartment unit was on the second floor. there was no elevator so naturally, our first thought was how are we going to bring all our stuff up to the apartment. the floor area was smaller compared to the first two. another downside was that the bathroom was in the lone bedroom which made the place not visitor-friendly at all.

after 3 apartments, i decided to give up the apartment hunting. after all, i thought we got lucky finding the perfect place. i stood as the broker of the first apartment like a seasoned pro until raj finally consented. we signed the application forms and hoped that there were no other applicants. a couple of days later, we got the call from the apartment manager informing us that the apartment was ours to lease. the same night, we signed all the documents and paid the deposit. a few more days later, we started moving in our things

up to this day, i never have had any regrets picking the place. i know my instincts were right. what makes it even more special is that is the very first apartment that raj and i had as a married couple, without other people living with us. the apartment was our threshold to independence and to a joint life of adulthood. it gave us a fresh start, something that when we tell our kids about in the future, we will look back with great fondness

this is the story of our first home.

raj and i decided to celebrate christmas together alone. this was the first time since we became a couple that we had christmas to ourselves, without the company of family, friends and relatives. the idea to have a private celebration was due mainly to the fact that we expect, or hope more likely, to become young parents by next year.

i had to work on the 24th (although i left early since i had nothing to do anyway) and raj had to do run errands as well but we met up at home around 3pm. for dinner, we went to w. 23rd st. and ate at outback around 7pm. it was early for noche buena but the restaurant closed at 9pm that day. i initially wanted to have dinner at carmine but they were no longer accepting reservations the night before and outback was the restaurant that we agreed upon because we like the food. raj had steak and i had baby ribs. after dinner, we went to rockefeller to take some pics using our new digicam. and then we watched the mini-concert and heard midnight mass at our church.

on the 25th, we wanted to do a lot of things so we started the day early. we went to brooklyn bridge to take pics then lunch at chef yu. after that, we watched two movies at 34th – valkyrie and the curious case of benjamin button. i like the second movie better. in truth, i fell asleep while watching valkyrie. not because the movie bored me. i was just always sleepy a lot lately. after the back-to-back movies, we walked to times square because raj wanted to buy chocolates over at hersheys but they were closed for the day. we bought desert instead and went home for our dinner, which were leftovers from the previous night.

for others, our celebration may seem nothing extraordinary. it could be any other day. but for raj and i, it was the perfect christmas.

our 3-bedroom apartment has been reduced to a studio. after almost all of our furniture have been safely moved to our storage, raj and i have started sleeping in our queen size sofa bed (which would go to my sister) in the living room. the latter has also become the dining area since we no longer have our tables and chairs. but the apartment is not yet empty. it’s still filled with boxes, bags and bags of clothes (to be shipped and thrown), a whole mound of garbage and many other already sorted items. but most importantly, the place is filled with a lot of happy memories.

(closing my eyes for a bit and breathing in the warmth of our second home which i would like to commit to my memory forever.)

we moved in this apartment april of 2007. raj was already back in manila. in a way, this was the only choice i had because i didn’t have the time and the courage to look for other apartments in the city. this apartment was rented by my boss who was then about to move to LA. because he still had eight months to go before the expiration of his lease, he thought it best to offer it to me. apart from the hassles of going through the rigorous task of apartment hunting, getting this place meant no deposit nor broker’s fee

one saturday morning, i took the N train from new yorker hotel (where i was billeted for a month while finding an apartment) to astoria. the commute was easy and short. my boss said the walk from the subway to the apartment was about 10 blocks. he gave me clear instructions on how to get to the apartment from the station. but being perpetually lost that i am, my navigation skills failed me. but i was glad i did because i got into the heart of astoria park which turned out to be across the apartment building. my boss had to get me from the park since i had no clue anymore on how to get to the place.

it was love at first sight when the apartment was shown to me (not to mention the proximity of the park). it has three rooms. the master’s bedroom has its own toilet which works well with my urination frequency and a reasonable sized walk-in closet. there is also a one full bathroom with a tub and a large sink. the living room is spacious. there is furnished kitchen and a separate dining area. there is a closet for coats and another one for shoes (hello carrie bradshaw lifestyle!) on top of that, there’s a small balcony which is overlooking the park.

the park has its own merits too. it offers a panoramic view of manhattan skyscrapers. it’s under two well-known bridges – triborough bridge and hell gate bridge, recently renamed robert f. kennedy bridge. bill clinton was in the park (yes, a few steps away from our apartment) when the inauguration took place a few weeks ago. the park obviously is a haven after a long day or a long week of working in the city. and when i was trying to find my way out of the park, i imagined myself walking in the mornings or reading a book in autumn. cinematic images which were major factors in my eventual decision to take over the lease.

the apartment is at 14th st. in astoria. my officemates and friends in new york said that astoria is a cool place, perfect for yuppies like us. in fact, many of my officemates reside in astoria as well. technically, astoria is located in queens but when asked where i live, i always tell people ‘astoria’ and refuse to acknowledge that it is part of queens, which is where most of the filipinos in new york are concentrated. i did not want to be another statistical figure, hence my insistence on referring it purely astoria (as if it is a borough on its own). in such a short time, i was known in our office as ‘the queen of astoria’ because of my noteable pride in being a resident.

i never had any doubt that raj would also love the apartment. and i was right, he did. when he finally moved back, the place became even more a home to me. he re-arranged the furniture and we bought a few more and some appliances. he made it even more chic even with cheap items from ikea. his presence became the core of the apartment and i have loved it even more.

it may not be perfect. some parts of the floor creak. the stove got broken; the faucet leaked; the building is old which makes it roach infested but overall, it still is a good place to live. couldn’t complain for starters like us.

this apartment has also seem many visitors including aki (who rented a room for one half and year. she’s more of a family) and her mom and sister and two friends, my large family in hawaii (my landlady almost had a heart attack when she saw all of them and thought they were moving in with us), my officemate kevin and my friends april, ralph and brenda. my ate and tin also frequent the place. but apart from these occasional visits, it’s usually quiet here with only raj and me – just the way we like it. the privacy of a home.

it’s obviously sad for us to leave such a great place. we can only hope that our journey will bring us to another wonderful home. together the both of us. and with our own kids in the nearest future.

i love snow. growing up in a tropical country has made me look forward to snow ever since i experienced my very first winter in japan. one of my wishes before i leave NY was to see snow as much and as often as possible so when i heard the news of a snow storm in the northeast, i anticipated it like a child waiting for santa’s present.

early reports from weather.com said that heavy snow would begin before 6am. on the eve of the snow storm, i was even thinking of using the difficulty in commuting due to bad weather conditions as an excuse for working at home. alas, it didn’t happen. when i woke up, there was no signs of any snow although the weather was downcast. i checked weather.com again and it reported that snow would begin around 10am instead. i had no choice but to go to the office. true enough, the snow started past 10am. our receptionist, who complimented me with my snow boots, even sent me an email saying that it was already starting to snow.

about an hour later, rain mixed with snow. when i went out to get my lunch, i was pretty disappointed to see that the snow did not accumulate or it was probably plowed away, and whatever was left had turned into murky puddles. it was yucky, the kind of snowy day which i hate. at 4pm i overheard our office manager telling people from the other department that we should go home because the weather was bad. i wasted no time, dismissed my intern and packed up for the day. it was hailing when i got out of the building so i was worried about my long walk from the subway station to our apartment.

but i was surprised that when i got off at astoria boulevard, it was snowing in its purest form – no hail, no sleet, no rain. it was lovely. everything was covered in snow. the walk to our apartment was cinematic. it put me into my ally mcbeal mood. when i got to the park, it was even more beautiful. it was illuminated with street lights and the park, blanketed by snow, seemed like a winter wonderland. surreal but nice.

i am writing this entry because in a few weeks, i would be leaving for NY. this could be the last time i’m ever going to experience snow storm in a while (although another snow storm is forecasted to be in the area on sunday), so i want to remember this day and how beautiful astoria is at this time of the year. i will surely miss the snow, as well as astoria.

a big leap of faith. yes, it is.

in the midst of the economic crisis grappling the nation, i have decided to leave my job at the end of the month and fly back to hawaii where i opt to start a new job, perhaps a new career, and a new life with raj. it’s probably troubling to some that i have made this life-altering decision when hundreds of people are being laid-off from their jobs. but i know, i am confident, that in the long run, in the grand scheme of our future plans, moving back to hawaii would be the best for me and raj.

leaving my present job is obviously a difficult and painful decision to make.  not only it is a secured job. i love many of the people i work with daily. but i also hate a few of them, half as well as they deserve (with apologies to my dear bilbo baggins). of course, saying goodbye to the people i like the most is a hard thing. in fact, i shed a few tears when i told my team that i am going to leave them behind and when i wrote the email to my friends at work who are not based in NY about my departure.

on the other hand, i feel relieved leaving. in some ways, i felt like my job has been the acomodador of my life. (the term has been used by paulo coelho in the zahir to refer to the giving up point, the event in our life that is responsible for us failing to progress.) i think that i already reached the peak of my career in my present job. there is nowhere else to move up. my professional growth is hindered by the monotony of a desk job.  there’s also so much weight on my shoulders, three big schools are under my supervision and people rely so much on me. and on top of that, i am trapped in the politics and bureaucracy of the organization. although the job is rewarding on a personal level for me, the whole crap brought about by the inside political struggles, also brings me down.

like most of the people in the country, i am looking forward to 2009, the year when we expect many changes to transpire as inspired by president-elect obama. i’m crossing my fingers that a new job would revitalize my energy and my career growth. i’m hoping that hawaii would bring new surprises and excitement. more importantly, i very much look forward to starting my own family next year.

please wish me all the luck in the world as i take a big leap of faith. yet again.

my business trip is officially over. i’ll be meeting coreen in a bit to spend some time with her and to do some shopping before i leave tomorrow morning.

to say that i prepared for this business trip is an overstatement. in truth, i barely made any preparations. i applied for visa one week before my planned departure. i booked my tickets two days prior to my schedule. and, i thought about my presentation aboard the plane to narita. i even had to ask hubby to make my powerpoint presentation because my mac doesn’t have the office tools.

i didn’t prepare for the presentation. ok, maybe i did practice a few talking points while in the shower but even then, i was lost for words. i was more focused on conditioning my hair than trying to come up on how to explain our products. so i decided to just wing it.

surprisingly, (yes, i surprised myself) i did well. and this coming from the mouth of my colleagues.

dolly said my presentation was good. she is a filipina as well and when we were first introduced she told me how proud she was of me because i am still young (compared to her) and yet i am doing well in my profession. so when she complimented me, i wasn’t really sure if she meant it but there were others too who said i did well and so i am proud of myself. and blogging it for the world to know. ha!

satoko who is the country manager for japan praised me. i was more eager to impress her than anyone else because i owe her my trip to japan. she has long wanted me to help with the educational fairs but the plan didn’t materialize until now. i didn’t want to fail her so i was relieved that she was impressed with my presentation. she said that i was charming while talking, which i interpreted as having good PR skills. it was important that i have it since i was trying to sell our schools to the agents present in the seminar. later she said that i need to learn about the other centers  too in the east coast so i can expand my presentations further in the future. basing on her reactions, i think there’s a good chance that she will invite me again.

tom, the regional sales manager for eastern europe also complimented me. he said that i am a  ’traveling sales woman in the making’. he asked if i’m interested in doing more fairs abroad and of course, i answered with much enthusiasm. his region is also active in educational fairs and seminars so i’m hoping he’d invite me on one of those.

teppei, the marketing manager of japan said that i was the popular girl. the agents would come up to me and introduce themselves. these were people that i have known for a couple of years now in writing but this was the first time that we got to meet in person. one of them even said that she just came to see me. true enough, she left after my presentation.

i’m happy that my work here is done and that i passed with flying colors. hopefully, there is a next time because i learned so many things from this trip which i would want to apply in the future.

ja ne.

the prodigal daughter is back… in japan.

after three years, although it seems like it was only yesterday when i left, i have returned to the place that was home and yet still foreign to me. i am reminded why i didn’t enjoy my stay before in japan as much as i expected. i am haunted by the memories of a long past gone.

i am by myself on this trip (not counting my colleagues based here in japan and the other one who came from london). when i am not on call for work, i am alone. it makes me think about how hard it is to live in a different country with no family and friends, with language barrier as a setback. it makes me think more highly of mommy rose and the thousands of filipino overseas workers here who have braved the difficulties of living in a foreign country. i know that if it was me in their shoes, i would have wallowed in loneliness and despair. i survived three years in japan because i had raj with me and we had bong and a handful of filipino friends who were our support group. if not for them, i would have turned my back away.

i’ve been busy since i arrived that i haven’t had the time to sightsee. i know that there are so many places i want to see, so many things i need to do (read: SHOPPING!) and so many cravings i have to satisfy but i rarely have the time. on top of that, i’m still recovering from jetlag. i leave saturday morning and the only time i can have for myself is friday afternoon. i look forward to that quality for myself. in the meantime, i work…

it’s saturday night. the quietness of my solitude is punctuated by the rolls of thunder. i was supposed to hang out with friends tonight, celebrate the summer but the unexpected storm has kept me in the confines of our sweltering apartment. it is in a moment like this that i wish of my life back in santa barbara.

i regret how i took for granted how things were before. true, i love new york and how my life is turning to be. but santa barbara – ah, those were the days when everything was relatively simple. all was laidback and carefree.

weekends meant time spent with raj. every weekend was the same. routinary and yet comforting. our activities included doing the grocery, watching movies, shopping at state street, doing the laundry, dining at sushi teri, watching TFC, listening to (and laughing at ) delilah at night. i was domesticated on weekends and i liked it. in fact, i miss it.

i miss so many things now about santa barbara. maybe tonight, in my dreams, i can relive my life that was.

i woke up this morning and felt a wave of nostalgia seep through me. i realized it’s almost five years since raj, bong and i made our journey to the sleepy town of beppu (in my opinion), which ironically enough is in the land of the rising sun, japan. five years since then and yet many of those fond memories remained vivid in my mind.

i remember the 24th of september 2005, the day we traveled to japan for the first time. we went to the centennial airport very early anticipating the problems that we could run into checking in our oversized luggages. despite the fact that we were only allowed 20 kilos of luggage, we brought more than we should, hoping that they would go unnoticed. unfortunately, the airport officials noticed how heavy our carry-on baggages were right before we entered the immigration area. all three of us had to re-pack the last minute and we ended up paying USD200 for all the extra baggage that we had combined. bong also had to turn over the forks he brought from home. funny how he could have just thrown them away but as we were expecting a hard life in japan (with buying forks as an added expense), bong thought it best to turn them over and to collect them when we arrived in japan.

because of all the last minute rush, the plane had to wait for the three of us and so when we finally boarded the plane, the faces of irate passengers greeted us and we just had to sink low on our seats and hide ourselves from embarassment.

the flight from manila to fukuoka took about more than four hours. the airport was small in comparison with the other international airports we had been into. the three of us decided that we didn’t need anyone from the school to pick us up so we just waited for the bus that would take us to beppu to arrive. we bought food in a convenience store at the airport for our dinner. they were actually snacks as we were still converting from peso to yen then and we thought that everything was expensive. with my little knowledge of japanese, we were able to send some of our luggages via courier.

it was a two hour ride from fukuoka to beppu. we slept mostly in the bus as there was nothing else to see but trees and mountains. we arrived at the university almost 6pm. at the bus stop, we were greeted by the RAs. thankfully, we had decided to have our things sent by post from the airport because we had to trek down a long path of stairs (later on, we counted them to be about a hundred steps). under normal circumstances, i would have kvetched about the whole thing but  the novelty of being in a new place and experiencing new things won over.

the first thing we did was to check in our residence which would be our own sanctuary for the next 6 months. we found out that bong was in AP house 1 while raj and i were placed in AP house 2, the newer and better building. julie, the floor RA ushered me to room 521. it was a small room which had a single bed, a closet, a desk with my own phone and a fridge. i also had my own WC in the room which made it a bit convenient. she showed me around the whole building. all five floors had their own communal kitchen, showers and laundry areas. julie also informed me how to borrow a vacuum cleaner and iron. i remember that  one of the questions i asked julie was where can i get drinking water. she told me i can get it from the sink in my bathroom. growing up in a third world country, i thought it strange and unsafe to do so but later on, i learned that tap water in japan was safe.

after roaming around the building, i managed to locate raj. we lost bong as he was in the other building but we managed to find him too after one hour. we had dinner together. our first dinner was an instant cup of noodle for each which wasn’t really fully cooked because we didn’t have boiling hot water. the meal was a disaster to say the least but we were just happy being there after all the preparations that we took which lasted almost a year. (we were actually scheduled to start march 2005 but due to financial setbacks, we deferred our attendance to september). we parted ways that night with a pact not to wake each other up early the next day. it was actually more of a reminder to me as i was the early riser among the trio and both bong and raj wanted to sleep in late. but i was also exhausted that day and i wanted to relish my first night in japan. my first time to be truly away from home.

now that i think about it, i regret that i didn’t keep a journal of my first few months in japan. it would have been nice to have something tangible to read and see how much life had progressed since then for the three of us, and to have a testament of how we survived the test of time. our stay in japan wasn’t a bed of roses as some people would have imagined it to be. it was a humbling experience and an eye-opener.  and something that i would truly cherish forever.

i spent 4 consecutive days dog-sitting my officemate shari’s poodle. her name is mimi (named after the character in the musical rent) and she was such a sweetheart. she was always energetic and hyper save for the first night. she was unusually quiet and aki and i thought that she may be sick. the next day though she was all up and running. we even took her to the park and played catch with her. when we came back home, she was still tireless and continued to beg for our attention. she knew how to make lambing and when to behave. when i was watching american idol, she cuddled close to me and remained still until the show was finished, after which she began playing again. she was also a funny dog. one time, she pooped and it smelled so bad that aki and i started laughing out loud. realizing that we were laughing at her, she went inside her bag like an embarrassed child.

so how much did we get paid for dog-sitting? nada. we did it as a big favor to shari who’s always been nice to us. that, and in order to get the chance to stay at her very cool place with huge windows overlooking the empire state. her building has a gym and a lounge with pool table inside. it’s a classy apartment in an upscale neighborhood. very chic. except that the smell of the building whenever i entered reminded me of AP house 2.